Category Archives for Blog

Closeness and Conflict Resolution

There is a wealth of evidence that having close, loving relationships is crucial to our well-being and happiness. Researchers have found that people with strong social connections have less stress-related

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As Rafiki said, “Change is Good!”

I saw a bumper sticker on my morning walk which said, “If you can’t change your mind, are you sure you have one?” Do you ever say, in a resigned voice, “That’s just the way I am?”  Do

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Come Down From Your Helicopter!

By now, most people have heard the term “helicopter parenting.” It refers to parents who hover over their children as much as possible, and do things for their children that their children are capable

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Questioning Rules

I’ll confess at the outset that I am not a fan of rules. I realize that sometimes they are necessary to solve a problem or to create a boundary. They also establish values for a society. But do you unquestioningly

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We Become Old When We Stop Having Goals

Today, I had one of those moments when I had to face the possibility that I might not be able to do something I have my heart set on doing.  To celebrate turning 60, I really wanted to hike Wainwright’s

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If You Want Security in Your Relationship, Trust Works Better Than Control

I was listening to a fascinating TED talk with Ricardo Semler*, and he said something that really resonated with me and got me thinking.  “The idea that having control generates security is a very

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Think You Can’t Change? Think Again!

Some people believe they can’t change. They are just a certain way, and believe they have no control over this.  These people have what Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist, would call

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Manage Expectations for a Healthy, Loving Relationship With Your Daughter

One of the things I hear mothers of adult daughters talk about a lot is their expectations. Whether we voice them or not, we all have hopes and expectations for our daughters, both big things and little

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You Can’t Teach Your Kids What You Don’t Know

Sometimes being a parent can be so overwhelming. We want to be the best possible parent, but we make that a higher priority than being the best possible person.  We give our kids lots of love and

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Mothers and Daughters: Criticism and Acceptance

The single biggest complaint daughters have about their moms is, “She’s always criticizing me.” If you are a mom, you may be thinking, “I can’t open my mouth because my daughter takes

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Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

How do you think about yourself? Is your opinion of yourself based upon who you really are? Or on what your parents, friends or relatives told you as a child? Or the story you created from experiences

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Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers and Daughters!

For me, being a mom is the most challenging and most rewarding endeavor I have ever undertaken. The mother-daughter dynamic is amazing. As linguist Deborah Tannen describes in You’re Wearing THAT? They

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How to Measure Your Progress

Measure your progress by how you are changing your habits, not by the number on the scale. In my home and in my coaching practice, I talk about the idea that our negative patterns are either lines in water,

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Are You a Mean Dieter?

Are You A Mean Dieter? We hear about mean drunks and happy drunks. I’ve never known any happy dieters, but have known many mean dieters. Thin mean dieters and overweight mean dieters. Both are mostly

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