• Home
  • Blog
  • Why Avoiding Your Problems Causes More Problems
Weight Coaching | November 30, 2016  | by  Shari Broder | 5 COMMENT
why avoiding your problems causes more problems

Do you eat when you aren’t hungry to avoid unpleasant emotions? Some of the most common reasons why people eat are to avoid feelings like:

1. Frustration

2. Boredom

3. Fear

4. Anxiety

5. Loneliness

6. Being overwhelmed

When we have them, these emotions are trying to tell us that something in our life needs our attention. If you’re overweight, it is likely because, instead of stopping to examine why you’re feeling these feelings, you avoid the discomfort of the emotion by eating.

You may think eating is a quick and easy way to feel better. And it may work temporarily, but it will then cause what I call “secondary stress” that is completely avoidable. Here’s what I mean.

Why Avoiding Your Problems Causes More Problems | Weight Loss for Foodies

Your body has a natural mechanism for regulating your weight, and that is why we have physical hunger signals. When you feel physical hunger, your body needs food. If you’re overweight, you’ve probably developed a habit of eating rather than actually feeling your emotions. That has become what you do. Maybe you grew up in a family where no one expressed their emotions, and showing feelings was considered a sign of weakness. Perhaps you never learned how to deal with your emotions constructively.

Causing your own secondary stress

But every time you eat instead of confronting the stress of your emotions (unless you’re actually hungry), you are overeating and consuming food your body doesn’t need and will store as fat. I cannot emphasize strongly enough, however, that you cannot end your struggle with weight if you continue to eat to escape your emotions.

By avoiding the stress of actually feeling what is happening for you emotionally, you are creating additional unpleasant feelings that you could have avoided if you had just paid attention to your feelings in the first place and NOT eaten. This is what I mean by secondary stress.

Secondary stress is completely optional. You can elude it by simply learning to accept your feelings instead of repressing them. We all have lots of negative emotions. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Don’t judge yourself or your emotions. Just listen to them and see what they’re telling you.

Next week, I’ll write about constructively managing your emotions so you learn what you’re really craving in life. In the meantime, remember that your emotions may be uncomfortable at times, but they are just vibrations in your body. They go away faster when you don’t resist them -- or bury them under a lot of food.

Want some extra help to learn how to lose weight without dieting? Get my free 8 Secrets for Permanent Weight Loss Guide HERE.

About the author 

Shari Broder

My mission is to help foodies ditch dieting and lose the weight for good. Discover what is really causing your weight issues (it isn't that you love food!), and learn how to stop obsessing about food and make peace with food and eating. Get off the diet hamster wheel once and for all and learn to eat consciously, stop emotional eating and enjoy the foods you love while permanently losing your desire to overeat.

  1. I think this is such a great post! I find that so much of the time, worrying only causes me even more stress and eats up so much more energy than if I simply faced the problem in the first place.

  2. I grew up in a house where food was abundant. “Goodies” were always abundant ….yet I didn’t seem to care about eating sweets all the time. As I grew older and had to confront health problems, medications helped in making me put on extra weight. Extra time on my hands, boredom and baking for my children also contributed in adding weight. I can’t believe who I am now in comparison with what I used to look like. I guess I have been convincing myself that the person that I see in the mirror is not me…but it is. Like the song, “where have all the flowers gone…long time passing,” for me it should be “where has all the…flour…gone….long time passing.”….right to my hips through the lips! Like the bears in hibernation….it’s time for me to wake up and smell the fresh air, not the cookies!

  3. Hi Shari, I am unable to access the questionnaire to take for the 14 day challenge.

Comments are closed.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

Meet Shari

I am now retired from weight coaching, but hope you will enjoy the  blog posts and podcasts I created.