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Weight Coaching | February 15, 2022  | by  Shari Broder | 3 COMMENT
How Can I Love Myself When My Body Looks Like This? | Weight Loss for Foodies Podcast

Does the idea of loving yourself and your body while you’re working to lose weight seem counterintuitive to you?

Why would you want to change your body if you already loved it?  

Your body does so much for you. It allows you to experience life on earth! 

It carries you around, lets you feel and express love, hug people, and so many more things that it would be silly for me to attempt to list them all. 

Your body works hard for you, and always tries to support you. 

Even if you are struggling with health issues, your body is trying to do the best it can. 

So why are so many of us at war with our bodies? Why do we take them for granted?

Have you ever wondered where you got the idea that your body isn’t okay in the first place? 

When you were a small child, you didn’t dislike your body, did you? 

Do you value thin and small in other things in your life? Do you like skinny cats or dogs or horses? You’d probably be worried about the health of your pet if it were as skinny as a fashion model. 

I can guess where you got the idea of how your body should look–from diet culture! And from a diet industry that makes money from convincing you that your body is not acceptable, while selling you ways to change it that don’t work long-term. 

Tune in to learn the importance of learning to appreciate your body right now for both your happiness and to facilitate your weight loss success, and learn seven things you can do to appreciate and accept the body you have.




Read the Transcript


[00:00:00] Does the idea of loving yourself and your body while you're working to lose weight seem counterintuitive to you. I mean, why would you want to change your body if you already loved it? Tune in to learn why accepting and appreciating your body, the one you've got now, is key to both your happiness and your ability to change it by losing weight.

Wouldn't it feel amazing to stop obsessing about everything you eat, to ditch dieting forever and drop that extra weight in a sane and sustainable way?. Well, you can do it and I can't wait to show you how I'm Shari Broder and welcome to the Weight Loss for Foodies podcast episode 176. How can I love myself when my body looks like this?.

Hello there. Thanks for stopping by and listening. Before we get started, I'd like to thank today's sponsor Betterhelp Betterhelp offers professional counseling done securely online. Better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Get started today at better Betterhelp. That's one word. BetterHELP. 

Go to Betterhelp.com/shari and receive a 10% discount off your first month. 

Now, [00:01:30] at the beginning of this podcast, I asked you why you would want to change your body if you already loved it. Well, there are lots of things you can love and still want to improve. I love my yoga practice and after 50 years of doing yoga, seriously, I started young, I still work to do the asanas better. You can love your body and want to get in better shape, to be stronger and more flexible. You can love your garden and still want to make it more beautiful. You can love the brownies you bake, but still make tweaks to that recipe to make it even better. I mean, you can play the piano or any musical instrument really well and still want to improve. You can run a 10 K race and still want to improve your time. I think you get the idea. 

But what's so important is your body does so much for you. It allows you to experience life on earth. It carries you around. It lets you feel and express love and hug people. And so many more things that it would be silly for me to attempt to list them all here.

your body works hard for you and it always tries to support you. Even if you're struggling with health issues, your body is trying to do the [00:03:00] best it can. So why are so many of us at war with our bodies and why do we take them for granted? Have you ever even wondered where you got this idea that your body isn't okay in the first place? That for some reason, fleshy bodies aren't desirable for women, unless the flesh is all in the boobs. When you were a small child, I bet you didn't dislike your body. Did you ever think about this? Where did you get that idea of how your body is supposed to look? Well, I think I have a pretty good guess. And that is from diet culture. And a diet industry that makes money from convincing you that your body is not acceptable while selling you all these different ways that to change it that don't work long term. The mass media and diet culture tell you that you should hate your body if it doesn't conform to certain thinness standards that you learned. They aren't your standards. There are ones that our culture comes up with and those standards change over time. Just look at paintings of women from the Renaissance and Baroque times, the women in those paintings were not skinny. They were voluptuous and fleshier bodies were a sign of a wealth and [00:04:30] status. Nobody wanted to be skinny. Usually it was because you didn't have enough to eat. If Marilyn Monroe,who was the sex symbol of the fifties and sixties were alive today, she woul d be considered fat by today's standards. For those of you who remember Twiggy, a fashion model who in the sixties was thought of as very thin, well, Twiggy was heavier than the people who are models nowadays.

So as our standards for thinness get thinner, oddly enough, the average size of American women has gone up and that's with adjusting clothing sizes to be larger. For example, in 1958 size 12 women's clothing in the United States were made for someone with a 26 inch waist. But today size 12 clothes are fitted for a 32 inch waist. I mean, that's a six inch difference and this was all done because the fashion industry realized that women were more likely to purchase clothes if they didn't need to buy a larger size. So as the average woman got larger, the fashion industry kept the number the same and just made the clothes bigger.

And as low sizes kept getting bigger clothing manufacturers had to create new sizes like two and zero and even double zero to fit smaller women, [00:06:00] including women who were starving themselves to meet the body standards of models and actresses. 

So here's something to think about. Do you value thin and small in other things in your life? Like, do you like skinny cats or dogs or horses? I'm guessing not. In fact, you'd probably be worried about the health of your pet if it was as skinny as a fashion model. So why don't we give ourselves the same level of acceptance that we give our pets? Well, it's because you learned that bigger bodies are less attractive, less desirable, less worthy of love. That's crap, right? It's so not true. But fat phobia is rampant in our culture and seems to be getting worse despite the fact that we're getting heavier. And it's the last bastion of acceptable discrimination. Well, I want you to learn to love and appreciate your body for all that it does for you, even if you would be more comfortable in a body that was stronger or less bulky.

You can love your body now and still work to weigh less. Say you don't like feeling breathless, walking up steps so you want to lose some weight or because you don't like the feeling of being squeezed into an airplane or a [00:07:30] theater seat, or because of you're like me and heart attacks and strokes run in your family. You want to reduce the risk of having one as much as you possibly can. It's no sin to want to weigh less, but to do it for yourself and for good reasons, instead of because that's what you see in magazines and in movies and on TV. If you stop and think about it, there are many things to love about your body.

I mean, for me, I love my hair and I love my hands for all the creative things they do so well. Drawing and painting and playing musical instruments and cooking delicious foods. I love my strong, flexible, muscular back. 

It's so important to embark upon this process of losing weight from a place of self-love and acceptance. When you come from a place of love and acceptance of the body you have, and take responsibility for the fact that some of the reasons that your body is larger than you would like is because of habits that you've developed and that you need to change. If you want to get rid of the extra weight and keep it off, you're more likely to set realistic goals and not get discouraged by little setbacks and disappointments that are part of the process.[00:09:00] 

So, if you are struggling to accept and appreciate your body as it is right now, I'm going to give you a bunch of suggestions of things to try. Number one, make a list of the things about your body that you like. Do you have a strong back or beautiful hair or capable hands, sparkling eyes. Notice what you like about your body and spend more time appreciating those things and less time fretting about what you don't like. 

Number two, think about all the things that your body does for you. Does it transport you to where you want to go, including to the top of mountains or into that clear lake for a swim? How does your body help you do your job? Has it allowed you to give birth to amazing children? Given you sexual pleasure? Add all the ways that your body allows you to enjoy your life to that list of the things you appreciate about your body. 

Number three, think of what a friend or family member who loves you would say about you if you asked. I mean, we tend to be our own worst critics and we notice things about ourselves that nobody else notices. What would your best friend say about you? Or if you have young children, meaning preadolescent. It might be fun to ask them what they love about you. 

Number four, give yourself a high [00:10:30] five in the mirror at least once a day. And tell yourself something you like about yourself. Now, the benefit of doing this is actually the topic of Mel Robbins, entire latest book, The High Five Habit. Mel believes that giving yourself a high five every day helps you believe in yourself. And as a holistic approach to life that changes your attitude, your mindset, and your behavior. Can't hurt to try it,right? Put a cut out of your hand on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself, to give yourself a high five 

Number five. Notice that normal people have bodies that vary greatly. And the most people you see on a daily basis don't look like Shakira. Although, I don't watch a lot of television when I do, I watch mostly British TV, first of all, because I think it's way better than American TV, but I also love the fact that they value acting ability over plastic surgery, bodies and looks. You don't have to be gorgeous and have Jennifer Aniston's body to make it on that side of the pond. And it's great to watch shows with normal looking women in them. 

Number six, notice your own judgmental thoughts about other people's bodies and change them. Do you judge other women's bodies or how they dress and [00:12:00] whether it's appropriate for their body? I mean, do you say things like, or think things like "she shouldn't be wearing a bikini" That kind of thinking is what feeds our fat phobic culture and we've all probably done it. But now is a great time to stop, notice your judgmental thoughts, and then just label them. Like I judged that person's body because that's what I've been conditioned to do. Now, me personally, I grew up with a mother and a sister who were constantly commenting and criticizing other people's appearance. And I began doing it without realizing how bad it was and wrong. Unfortunately, I did it in front of my two children as they were growing up, which definitely sent them the wrong message. But anyway, when you catch yourself judging other people's bodies, change your thinking about it. When I see a heavy woman in a tighter revealing outfit, if I catch those old, why is she wearing that thoughts which I really don't get very much anymore, I reframe them to admire the fact that she feels comfortable dressing in a way that reflects her personality and being herself or something like that, or can just simply think all bodies are worthy because they are. 

And number seven, make daily exercise a part of your routine. Not only is it great for your body and it [00:13:30] slows down the aging process, but it stimulates feel good chemicals in the brain that improve your mood. And sometimes you'll notice improvement in your body from exercising more quickly than you will from the number on the scale. And you can take pride in your accomplishment.

Research shows that people who exercise regularly tend to have higher self-esteem than those who don't. But do not overexercise. And never exercise as punishment for eating too much. That is not what caring for your body is about. That's cruel and obsessive. You are worthy of love, admiration and acceptance, no matter what size you are or what you look like.

And remember your body will change over time. Bodies do that. It's normal. If you're lucky, you'll get old and parts of your body will sag and become wrinkled. If they haven't already like mine, no matter how much exercise you do or what you. If you place too much emphasis on how your body looks, you're just not going to be happy. And who cares about being thin if you're not happy, right? So I highly recommend that you focus more on what you really want your health and how you feel physically than on some idea of [00:15:00] looking like J-Lo. 

Now, if you're really ready to make the commitment, I hope you will join the weight loss for foodies group coaching program, where we work on all of these things and people change their relationship with food and eating and lose weight.

So thank you so much for being here and listening. Talk to you next time. 

Thanks so much for listening. Don't forget to subscribe for regular motivation and inspiration and head over to my website. sharibroder.com to grab the free resources I've created to help you practice what you're learning on the podcast.

I really appreciate your help spreading the word by leaving a review on apple podcast or wherever you listen. See you next time.

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About the author 

Shari Broder

My mission is to help foodies ditch dieting and lose the weight for good. Discover what is really causing your weight issues (it isn't that you love food!), and learn how to stop obsessing about food and make peace with food and eating. Get off the diet hamster wheel once and for all and learn to eat consciously, stop emotional eating and enjoy the foods you love while permanently losing your desire to overeat.

  1. I think it's hard to lose weight if you don't love yourself. What always works for me is a lot of acceptance and patience, the only way to lose weight as we get older. If I'm easy and loving with myself, it usually works.

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Meet Shari

I am now retired from weight coaching, but hope you will enjoy the  blog posts and podcasts I created.