I went to a Chocolate Lover’s Fling fundraiser recently. It was a lovely event where the chocolatiers gave out small servings of their chocolate desserts. We were served 12-15 different desserts (I wasn’t counting), plus the chocolatiers had tables around the perimeter of the room where people could get more of whatever they liked.
Had I gone to this event 20 years ago, I would have eaten every bite of every dessert on my plate. I would not have paid attention to my body’s signals. I would have felt like crap afterwards. Then I would have felt fat and guilty. Instead, I took a little taste of each, then a little more of the few that were really delicious. I brought the rest home for my husband.
A lot of the women with whom I work come to me with that same mindset that I used to have. They don’t trust themselves around food, especially sweets. They believe that chocolate truffles have more power than they do. If they allow themselves to eat chocolate, they believe they would never stop.
Of course that isn’t true. But as long as they believe it, they continue to prove themselves right by eating chocolate out of control.
Why do they have these beliefs? Answer: diets. From a young age, girls are indoctrinated in the diet mentality. Diets teach us that we can’t trust ourselves or our body’s wisdom to make decisions about how to eat. That is why diets tell us what to eat and how much. The idea behind diets is that we need them to tell us because we can’t be trusted to make those decisions. Diets tell us that our appetites have to be controlled like convicted criminals in prison cells. If we let them out, who knows what crimes against our bodies they’ll commit?
So many of us have spent most of our lives denying ourselves foods because we don’t trust ourselves around them. Then when we “give in,” we eat out of control because we act like we don’t know when the next opportunity to eat this food will come. We eat like there’s no tomorrow.
But what if you were to start trusting yourself around food? What if you told yourself that there is an abundance of cheesecake in the world and that you can eat it when you’re really in the mood? What if you decided that you were going to end all of your superficial eating behaviors? You know, the ones that have nothing to do with your body’s needs? Like dieting, deprivation, fasting, bingeing, and emotional eating?
Imagine going to the Chocolate Lover’s Fling feeling hungry but not ravenous, and taking a little bite of each sweet. Really tasting it to see whether it is worthy of a second bite. Then only eating more if it tastes amazing.
I’m not saying it is an easy transition, but it is one that you can absolutely make. I did it, and my clients have done it. It is a process. You have to start somewhere.
Food isn’t the problem. It is how you use food that causes overweight. You can stop using food to meet your emotional needs. When you do that, you will start losing weight and you won’t regain it.
If you’re on Facebook and would like to join a group of wonderful people who are learning how to ditch dieting and change their relationship with food so that they lose weight and keep it off, join Ditch the Diet Tribe.
If you’re ready to get serious about ending emotional eating and losing weight for good, sign up for my Freedom from Emotional Eating program here.
I'm passionate about helping foodies learn how to drop their excess weight for good without dieting. I help you discover what is really causing your weight problem (it isn't that you love food!), and teach you how to enjoy the foods you love while permanently losing your desire to overeat. I'd love to teach my method to you! I’m also a gourmet cook and baker who struggled with my weight for 40 years before discovering the secret of how to stop emotional eating and overeating. I am a certified life coach, arbitrator and mediator, and I live on the coast of Maine.